Looking Back.....3

A peek into my journal...continued.

I was hospitalized at 28 weeks. It was very boring and sometimes very scary. I worked a whole lot on a cross stitch I had started a few years earlier. It has 2 snowmen on it. Maybe I'll finish it this year!:) (I did finish it that year, by the way.)
I also brought Matt's laptop computer. This is nice, because I can chat with people via instant message. I also was able to find a website called monoamniotic.org. It is so awesome! Everyone there is either having momo twins, or has had them. It is a wealth of knowledge on a subject that no one seems to know much about. I have become much more educated on twins-especially momos. I also learned that the 50% mortality rate is outdated. We are still in a very scary situation, but there is hope. It is nice to be able to converse with people all around the world who know what I'm going through.
Monoamniotic twins make up only 1% of all twins. No wonder nobody seems to know much! There is a newer study called the Heybourne Study. It is very interesting. They studied many women pregnant with monoamniotic twins- half of which were hospitalized and half were outpatient who went in several times a week for tests. The outcome of the study was that of the women who were hospitalized, they didn't lose a single baby. Of the ones who were outpatient, there were quite a few babies that perished.
I am so glad to be sitting in this hospital bed after reading this! It is so hard to be away from Matt and the boys, but so, so worth it for my girls.

Some of the days were really tough. I had a few emotional days. The first days were especially hard, just getting used to the hospital and having to say "Goodbye" to my boys. Some of the nurses weren't exactly helpful, either, because they didn't understand my situation or why I was there. Overall, I think I did pretty well. I had to stay in bed with monitors on my stomach constantly with the exception of the bathroom, and a quick shower. Matt also brought the boys to see me every day. They would take me on wheel chair rides outside around the pond. This is something I looked forward to every day. I think I was on the monitors probably at least 22.5 hours per day.
Somewhere between 29 and 30 weeks, we went and took a tour of the NICU. This was very hard to take in. Seeing such small little bundles, fighting for their lives- it was quite an eye opener for me. A few hours after the tour, we had a major decel in baby A (Abbie). I was just sitting in my bed when a nurse came in to reposition my belts. Nothing out of the ordinary, I thought. She was rushing and not being very gentle and I still had no idea the seriousness of the situation. When she found the heartbeat on the monitor, I heard it go from thump, thump, thump to thump......thuump...........thuuump. I can't even explain how scared I felt at that moment. Within just a few minutes, my bed was surrounded with nurses and a scrub tech, I had oxygen put on my face, an IV put in my hand, and pills shoved down my throat. Next thing I remember was a nurse's face right close to mine, saying, "You're doctor is on her way, you need to be prepared. This could be IT!" At this point, tears started flowing and a very scared mama started to panic!
A few minutes later my doctor arrived and Abbie's heart had stabilized. (Thank goodness!) My doctor, her partner, and my peri continued watching my monitor for a few hours. They finally decided that things were going to be ok and that I would continue to be watched closely, but that today was not the day for me to meet my babies. Needless to say, my wheelchair rides were outlawed that day.
My sister and her kids came and visited me at lunch time on the weekdays. My parents also came several times per week. Matt's parents came a few times and played games with me (Settlers of Cattan). It was always nice to have visitors.
This hospital stay was tough! (wait a minute, did I already say that?) Some days my feelings were torn. A part of me wanted to have my babies early. That way there could be no cord accident and I could be done being pregnant and get out of this hospital and go home. Another part of me would then kick in and tell me to quit being so selfish. I knew I needed to stick with the plan to give my babies a good start at life. The best possible start I could give them.
To be continued...